Be True to Thy Self

I have a confession to make. Most of you who are my friends will already know this confession. But here it is.

I am a bad friend. I rarely return phone calls, I randomly send emails, I make plans and then cancel at the last minute, I sometimes don't cover my mouth when I sneeze, the list could go on and on.

I would like to say that all this bad friend etiquette started when I had kids, but there are too many of you out there who know differently. For a while it was masked because I lived in Victoria and actually sent out Christmas cards to a whole host of people. Little did they know that one Christmas card was me running at full friendship capacity. It just looked good because I didn't live in the same town.

The weird thing is that I genuinely like / treasure all of my friends. I think of you guys often and wonder how you are with your families and careers and lives. If I called or emailed every time I thought about you guys then I would be bordering on stalking..... well maybe not. But there would be more than one or two calls a year.

How did this happen? Am I lazy? Is the Metro Vancouver to blame? Are we simply too thinly spread between working full time, parenting, random acts of exercise and commuting? Throw in a 30 minute drive to the old stomping grounds and it is kaput?

There is no excuse. I am not an artist, I am not involved in any team sports (they would kick me out for lack of participation), I am not actively involved in any sort of time consuming hobbies (scrapbooking 1x a month if I am lucky), I do not have any debilitating illnesses (unless you consider 3rd pregnancy in 5 years incapacitating) and I do not cook very much or bake. There is no reason for me not to eek out some time for my friends.

So here is to you - the friends who have hung in there and call even though I am criminally negligent. I enjoy all of our conversations and I value your input. The emails and random cards brighten my day.

I will do better!

The Wii Mii

She is quite a catch. A nice bob haircut without any fly aways, she has a clear complexion, no need for glasses and seems to always be smiling.

She has a 120 average in bowling. There are no hissy fits when she gets a gutter ball. She doesn't stamp her feet or curse everyone around her. She smiles and picks up another ball. She doesn't do a dance when she beats Wii Mii Colin at bowling. She even smiles as she boxes Wii Mii Rowan (always to a KO - cyber child abuse?).

I would love to be Wii Mii for one day.

I want Nunavut!

All this time I was saying "I want None of It", but clearly after seeing the Jobs section of the Vancouver Sun this weekend, what I really meant was "I want Nunavut!"

I have reached the top of my pay scale as a social worker in BC. This is a livable wage and it generally keeps me in the way in which I have been accustomed. Sure the merlot is sometimes in a box - but I really have no complaints.

Until now. Turns out that if I was plying my trade in Nunavut I would be making $65,228.00 per annum with a $25,030.00 pre annum northern allowance. Or should I make it as a supervisor the wage would be $73,398.00 per annum plus the northern allowance. To me this would mean, without a lot of thought into why the northern allowance is so high, farewell boxed merlot, hello fresh from France merlot.

$90K to be a social worker in Nunavut....... $98K to be a supervisor. Now depending on how much money I would need to make a comparably lifestyle up there.... this could be very tempting. Even if it meant mail order Lululemon for two years and months of snowmobiling training in order to make it work.

I am clearly not a Nunavut Land Claim beneficiary... which could be detrimental to my success of panelling for the position. There is the distinct possibility that my children could be lost in a snow drift. And of course I can not ignore the massive amount of education I would require in order to learn about the North and the distinctive cultures of the people who live there. Safe to assume that my limited knowledge of first nations people is seriously lacking. But for $90K plus a year (and that is the starting wage!) I would be a fast learner.

Just something to ponder on a Sunday before the beginning of a long work week....

The BEST job EVER!

After much deliberation and many years of questioning peers about the attributes of the best job ever, I have decided which job is the BEST. Sadly it is not my job. But I know someone who works in this employment and he gets 8 weeks of vacation and is off every day between 2 - 3pm.

The job is..... Canada Post Mailperson!

Sure they have to work in the rain sometimes - but they get standard issued uniforms complete with rain slickers and matching short outfits for summer. All in navy blue! My favourite!

Sometimes my mailperson has their own mini golf cart type vehicle which they drive on my lawn and leave idle while they deliver their wares. Rarely does a parcel weigh more than a few pounds and my mailperson has wicked muscle tone in the leg.

I am not the first to 'discover' this dream job. A good friend who is currently a teacher in Delta first claimed this to be the best job ever while we were still in university. Why she never pursued this dream is unknown to me. Instead she spends her days with cheeky elementary school kids.

If I could do it all over again, I may have taken a different route.

Benazir Bhutto

I wonder why more women don't go into politics.

Could it be that we worry about creating orphans?
What sort of message does the assassination of Benazir Bhutto say to all the women and girls around the world who wish to get into politics? Specifically what does it say to the women of Pakistan?

I worry about the gender inequality in the world. I worry about such widespread hatred - and why we are so tolerant of this behaviour.

I understand that Benazir was not only assassinated because she was a women (although that was a trait which marked her for death from the beginning with the Taliban). But it played a role and the loss of Benazir is a loss to the whole world - women especially.

Women are under represented in every area of government and management. I am sad to say that this is also true of my profession. I am a social worker (front line) and in my small office the team leaders are 50 - 50 gender split (despite the fact that women make up 80% + of the workforce). Our administration staff is 100% female. I am forced to ask the question why? During my BSW we were educated about social change and how to affect change in our communities. So why can we not shake the trees and promote more women into positions of power? The majority of our adult clients are female. The majority of our support agencies are staffed by women.

I do not believe that this is due to male intellectual superiority - please. I know that some Harvard professors are debating the differences between the level of IQ in men and women. If IQ testing had been invented by a woman she would have built in multi tasking components which included creating shopping lists, balancing cheque books and figuring out if 1=8 then 2=X. That would be a true test of capacity and IQ. In short I believe that men and women have different strengths intellectually - but this does not place one above the other.

If anythings these differences should reinforce the need to have both men and women equally represented in world government and all levels of business and public service.

So farewell Benazir, you will be mourned by your fellow Pakistanis and women around the world.
I hope that this cowardly act will invigorate women and motivate them to vote in the coming elections in Pakistan.

I also hope that it will light a fire under every mother, daughter, wife, best friend and sister to get out there and get involved. I believe that we can change the world. Vote as is your right and your duty in democracy.

GO HILARY GO!!!

Too Posh To Push

My husband said this to me last night. I have had two c sections and will be having another in May 2008.

This is the same man that stood by and watched me deal with coupling contractions so serious that I was unable to catch my breath during our first child birth experience. I could barely eeck out the words 'epidural' before the next contraction hit my body like a prize fighter. I was crying and had never experienced so much pain in my life. After 16 hours of labour, our son (whose head refused to engage in the birth canal) was born via c section. He was a 7 pound baby and my doctor determined that I had a tilted pelvis and this was what caused the lack of movement despite the 2 hours of pushing and a scary amount of petocin.

Due to the reason for requiring a c section for number 1, I did some research and determined that there was far too much risk to attempt a v-back with my second pregnancy (only 19 months apart). This was confirmed for me when my water broke at 33 weeks and we knew that we would having a baby who would require immediate medical care and special care nursery services. I opted to go ahead with my 'planned' c -section. This c section was very painful (due to babe prematurity it meant that the abdominal wall did not thin and there was more muscle & tissue involved in the operation. I also contracted an infection which was gross.

So in May when I will be having our third and last baby, I will be having a third c section. There isn't much choice for the 3rd time around as the risks for placenta abruption is significant and this is not a risk I choose to place my baby in. I have researched the risks to me and to my baby and I have determined that I am too smart to push.

I have not made my decisions without significant refection. I know how this story can and will end. I know that there will be some women who will always think that they are superior because they gave birth through their vaginas. I don't hold it against them - but until you have walked a mile in my shoes you can keep your mother earth crap to yourself. But I will save my rant for those people for another day.

Back to the real reason why I am blogging about this today...

To give some context to my husband's comment - this is the man that is too scared to have a blood test done to confirm that he has gout.

I can only hope that he gets kidney stones as we age and I am afforded the opportunity to lean over and say - "what honey? Too posh to push?"

There was warning....

Kids warn you that they are going to be messy. It starts with labour (mucus plug anyone?), continues on with post baby whatnot downstairs (but this time accompanied by either pukey baby or flying pee baby), then there are the projectile moments when trying new food, vomit in the middle of the night, car sick toddler, sticky hands on clean pants child in the morning followed closely by melted chocolate child who rubs their face on your white t-shirt.

So what I am about to say might sound a bit trite.

I am AMAZED at how many times I have been vomited on. I am stunned by the amount of pee that has entered into my washing machine. I am flommuxed about all of the snot that invariably finds & dries on my pants. I am shocked that I even attempt to leave the house (day after day) in the same clothes I started out in.

The kids are at the perfect hight to get me from ankle to shoulder with whatever substance they seem to be willing to share. As noted above this can include body fluids, food and art supplies.

The next time someone tries to wipe something off my shirt, then pulls away their hand and says "Ohhh.... it is cheese." I am going to haul out my Tide Pen and give them a piece of my mind!

There were warnings! Beware!