The X Factor

I need to clearly state that I do not endorse the following activity.

You should not google ex boyfriends - unless you are prepared to deal with the feelings of inadequacy in the event that they are leading their life dream of being an indie rock star.

This happened to me last night when I typed in my first boyfriends name into the effective search engine from HELL.

Turns out said ex boyfriend - who went out with me for about 5 years from the ages of 15 - 20 - has become a member of a alternative rock band which has gained significant acclaim in the UK.

I should note that I was not a great girlfriend and we actually broke up over the phone during When Harry Met Sally. There is probably a song on their new album called - 'Can't believe that Bag Dumped me During a Commercial Break'.

But hearing that someone that I spent some formative years with is actually doing something COOL was quiet disturbing. I now feel very old - like I would be mistaken for one of band members mother as opposed to former girlfriend.

Is this the slide into middle age? Every once in a while I catch myself sliding towards my 40s.... without a lot of fanfare. Just another hourly wage earner paying off the mortgage. I think that it may be time to make a big life decision - like move to the UK to practive social work. Or the UN. Or something exciting. So that when I am googled it says that I have actually done something exciting and unique.

Don't get me wrong - I love my husband, my children and my dogs (and I guess my house with its 90's sea foam green carpet). But I crave to do something out of the predictable. I want my kids to have a story to be able to experience life instead of sitting in our cookie cutter house watching Friends Reruns.

Or maybe I just need a mani / pedi & snap out of this malaise.

James if you are curious the band's name is Elizabeth & I believe they have some concert dates coming up in London. And not Ontario but England.