Hello! So good to hear from you! Hope you are not too puffy & can still fit into your shoes!
Here is the low down on my labours:
L - water broke at 39 weeks. because I was strep B + I had to go to the family birthing unit (which should be renamed She Who Roared Unit) right away and get hooked up to some petocin to start the contractions. That was horrific as the contractions were coupling & I could not catch my breath.
Cue the anesthetologist! I had my epidural and everything was puppies and balloons. I pushed for about 2 hours once I was fully dialated but nothing... everyone who did an internal exam went up to their elbows and said 'Baby too High!'.
L. never came into the birth canal and ended up being a csection. Which was kind of gross as I was injured from all the pushing (and yes you will poop and vomit {definately poop due to the pushing} - vomitting can happen when you transition from one stage of labour to the end stage) and had my section scar (which is technically 'bikini safe' however that can never be proven as no 'regular' women have ever worn a bikini after children).
It's all very UNSEXY and it is amazing that people have more than one baby.
R: super gross. Water broke again without contractions. He was bron at 33 weeks so the c section went through thicker muscle and joy of joys I also got an infecton in the incision.
E: water broke 37 weeks. Scheduled c-section although got bumped off the OR table by some junkie who took a bunch of cocaine and went into early labour with a baby heart beat over 200. So while waiting for the OR to turn around I started to have contractions on my own... it was okay and they grew more intense every cycle. But you are not allowed to 'labour' for your third c section as it is very dangerous for baby and you due to placenta abruption. So wisked in for the c section. It was my BEST section and I felt like Posh Spice (minus the concrete tits).
Okay so just re read this and have deemed myself a c section expert and a vaginal birth 'tard.
So here is my c section words of wisdom:
- spinal anesthisia is horrific but no one even pretends that a needle in the spine is a walk in the park. Honesty is nice.
- baby is born quickly and your partner can watch baby being born and will likely be given baby to bring to your face.
- it can take a while for the spinal to wear off. In BC they keep you in the recovery room until you can feel the ice on your chest. Baby usually stays with mom and they encourage you to start breast feeding & snuggling skin on skin.
- you will have a tube for pee (can't recall the name right now...) but nothing makes the pee bag classy so don't even try. Cathetar! It stays for about 24 hours and it is a mind over matter thing to get your body to pee on demand. And then you have an Austin Powers pee due to the fact that your bladder finally has space to stretch out.
- your breast milk might be delayed in coming in if you have a section. Might come in on day 3 or 4 as opposed to day 2 or 3 with a vaginal birth. MAKE the lactation consultants stay with you and teach you about latch. It can be like a lunar docking. Tiny baby - big boob. Try the football hold if the cross body hold doesn't work. Nurses will know what this is.
- you still bleed alot after a c section (not at the incision but vaginally). Someone told me that they shop vacced when they did a c section but that never happened for me for any of my sections. Prepare with BIG pads. Hospital will have some but make sure you have some for home.
- you cramp as your uterus goes back to size.
- take deep breaths every 15 minutes (or as often as you can remember) as this will help with any shoulder pain (air trapped when they sew you back up) and will ensure your lungs are reaching capacity.
- they will give you a morpine bollus before you leave the OR. You will feel AMAZING for about 24hours (then you get itchy) and you will be getting out of bed, moving furniture around, etc). then day 2 hits and you want to cry and cry and cry because you realise someone actually cut open your belly. And it hurt. You can use tylenol and advil at the same time but I always found that advil worked best for surgical pain. Okay for baby as it is only for a few days and your milk will not be in full force.
- watch for infection at your incision - it will be a red 'creeping' up or down your torso. It's not good but they have great antibiotics that you can take. You might get staples - which are great unless you have an allergy.
- you will sneeze or laugh when the morphine has worn off and it willl HURT. You will be amazed at how often you sneeze in real life.
I felt 'recovered' from my sections about a week later. Take all the help you can get. Sleep when baby sleeps.
oh my goodness - this sounds scary! But no matter what the delivery is over quickly and the real scary stuff starts... parenting!
I hope it all goes well! Thinking about you and can't wait to get the update.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Dear School District 36 (Surrey),
HWSNBN mentioned that you called last evening regarding the incident yesterday when Darth Vader moved the chair on Luke Skywalker and he subsequently fell backwards and hit his head. Luke is very clear how this incident took place. He states that Darth pushed his light sabre off the table and when Luke leaned over to get his items Darth moved his chair so that he fell backwards. Darth made some sarcastic remarks to Luke (such as ... "ohhhhhh your light sabre fell.......).
This is not the first time Darth has been involved in specifically targeting Luke. In December I observed Darth purposely trip Luke. Darth was sitting in the chair closest to the inside door. When Luke passed to go to the library Darth stuck his foot out and tripped him. This was deliberate and Obi Wan Kenobi address it with Darth.
Somewhere along the way this child has been given the messaging that his behaviour is acceptable and tolerable. I recall that the Surrey School district has a policy of zero tolerance when it comes to bullying - however Luke has had his incidents of bullying minimized and on several occasions he has been assigned blame. I believe that by assigning blame to the bullying victim you only empower the child who has assaulted the other child. Perhaps this is where some of the messaging that Darth's behaviour is acceptable is coming from.
The behaviour that Darth has displayed to Luke is just mean and very typical behaviour of a child trying to gain acceptance from another child in his peer group. As an educator you are well aware that these tendencies do not bode well for that child's ongoing positive social development. I am speaking of the gang mentality between the 3 Republic boys. Any child who would purposely hurt another younger child while trying to gain the acceptance of a peer should be a growing concern to the adults around him.
We have been very clear to Luke that he is responsible for his own behaviour and not the behaviour of those around him. With this as our background we are teaching our son to be responsible for his actions.
Neither Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi or myself observed the incident yesterday. I believe Luke's recollection of events as he has nothing to gain from telling an inaccurate story. The other children involved do have something to gain by minimizing their involvement or observations.
I am not convinced that consensus building conflict resolution is the best way of addressing bullying at this age / grade level. The children are still at a juncture were they believe in teacher and parental authority. They need to be advised about which behaviours are acceptable and which are not. There is no grey area when dealing with this kind of issue - the messaging needs to be consistent and clear. That kind of behaviour will not and should not be tolerated.
These are teaching moments for every child in a classroom. Unfortunately for Darth Vader, he learned yesterday that if your friends fib and you lie about an incident then you will get away with your mean spirited actions. Luke Skywalker has learned that people will get away with harming him and humiliating him in class even when he speaks out and tells the truth.
I am wholly disappointed in the reaction from the school in regards to the bullying going on in the classroom and on the playground this year. This latest event is just another example of how some children believe that they have the right to dominate and harass and embarrass other kids. This belief is not being challenged by the authority figures in the class and it repeats itself again and again and again.
I am also aware of the fact that I am continually being called to the school to deal with the aftermath of SOMEONE else's kids bad / assaultive behaviour. It is my son coming home early due to being punched in the head, being pushed into a puddle, stomped on or caused to fall and hit his head while the offender walks off and enjoy the rest of the day. Perhaps their parents are not even being notified that their child has assaulted another kid in class. For the record sometimes saying sorry is not enough to absolve a child for a bullying behaviour. 'Sorry' is an empty statement if it is not followed up with positive actions and change in behaviour.
In short I am not impressed and hope that next year bring a more stringent adherence to the Zero Tolerance around bullying.
Sincerely,
Just a Mom in a Galaxy Far Far Away
This is not the first time Darth has been involved in specifically targeting Luke. In December I observed Darth purposely trip Luke. Darth was sitting in the chair closest to the inside door. When Luke passed to go to the library Darth stuck his foot out and tripped him. This was deliberate and Obi Wan Kenobi address it with Darth.
Somewhere along the way this child has been given the messaging that his behaviour is acceptable and tolerable. I recall that the Surrey School district has a policy of zero tolerance when it comes to bullying - however Luke has had his incidents of bullying minimized and on several occasions he has been assigned blame. I believe that by assigning blame to the bullying victim you only empower the child who has assaulted the other child. Perhaps this is where some of the messaging that Darth's behaviour is acceptable is coming from.
The behaviour that Darth has displayed to Luke is just mean and very typical behaviour of a child trying to gain acceptance from another child in his peer group. As an educator you are well aware that these tendencies do not bode well for that child's ongoing positive social development. I am speaking of the gang mentality between the 3 Republic boys. Any child who would purposely hurt another younger child while trying to gain the acceptance of a peer should be a growing concern to the adults around him.
We have been very clear to Luke that he is responsible for his own behaviour and not the behaviour of those around him. With this as our background we are teaching our son to be responsible for his actions.
Neither Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi or myself observed the incident yesterday. I believe Luke's recollection of events as he has nothing to gain from telling an inaccurate story. The other children involved do have something to gain by minimizing their involvement or observations.
I am not convinced that consensus building conflict resolution is the best way of addressing bullying at this age / grade level. The children are still at a juncture were they believe in teacher and parental authority. They need to be advised about which behaviours are acceptable and which are not. There is no grey area when dealing with this kind of issue - the messaging needs to be consistent and clear. That kind of behaviour will not and should not be tolerated.
These are teaching moments for every child in a classroom. Unfortunately for Darth Vader, he learned yesterday that if your friends fib and you lie about an incident then you will get away with your mean spirited actions. Luke Skywalker has learned that people will get away with harming him and humiliating him in class even when he speaks out and tells the truth.
I am wholly disappointed in the reaction from the school in regards to the bullying going on in the classroom and on the playground this year. This latest event is just another example of how some children believe that they have the right to dominate and harass and embarrass other kids. This belief is not being challenged by the authority figures in the class and it repeats itself again and again and again.
I am also aware of the fact that I am continually being called to the school to deal with the aftermath of SOMEONE else's kids bad / assaultive behaviour. It is my son coming home early due to being punched in the head, being pushed into a puddle, stomped on or caused to fall and hit his head while the offender walks off and enjoy the rest of the day. Perhaps their parents are not even being notified that their child has assaulted another kid in class. For the record sometimes saying sorry is not enough to absolve a child for a bullying behaviour. 'Sorry' is an empty statement if it is not followed up with positive actions and change in behaviour.
In short I am not impressed and hope that next year bring a more stringent adherence to the Zero Tolerance around bullying.
Sincerely,
Just a Mom in a Galaxy Far Far Away
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Dear Ambition (where art thou?),
It seems like just yesterday I could not sleep at night due to my ambition. It would keep me up at night - dreaming up ways that I could change the world. I had so many ideas and a naive notion that I alone could pursuade change through conversation. I had plans to write the LSAT, I had plans to travel, I had plans to be a one person change machine.
Today I am exhausted by the seemingly full time job of keeping my three kids alive (despite their valient efforts to tempt fate). Don't put that into a light socket, Don't climb up that structure, Don't eat THAT, Put your seat belt on (repeated to the same child at least 3x a day), Look both ways before you RUN out into traffic! That doesn't BELONG there, YOU need to put that stick down, Where is your helmet? Linden? Everly? Rowan? SOMEONE answer me before I call 911!!!!!
I wonder, when they are all squared away into the false safety of adolecense, if ambition will visit me again? I hope so. I miss it.
Today I am exhausted by the seemingly full time job of keeping my three kids alive (despite their valient efforts to tempt fate). Don't put that into a light socket, Don't climb up that structure, Don't eat THAT, Put your seat belt on (repeated to the same child at least 3x a day), Look both ways before you RUN out into traffic! That doesn't BELONG there, YOU need to put that stick down, Where is your helmet? Linden? Everly? Rowan? SOMEONE answer me before I call 911!!!!!
I wonder, when they are all squared away into the false safety of adolecense, if ambition will visit me again? I hope so. I miss it.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Dear Alzheimer's Disease,
I don't think that I have properly thanked you. It is probably very rare that you get a note indicating someone's gratitude... however I am thankful for the gifts your illness has provided to my family.
In the 1980s my grandmother became very dissolutioned by her family. Her dedicated husband died too early and she was left a widower. She had two grown children with whom she developed a conflicted relationship with. It has been mused that my Pappa kept her grounded and reminded her about what was really important in life. But when he passed she edged closer and closer to a religion that encouraged her to disown her children (and by association she lost touch with several of her grandchildren). In the end she was estranged from both of her kids.
Despite being repeatedly rebuffed, my gramma's children persisted in contacting her. One fateful day my sister stopped in and was able to drive my gramma and her friend to a doctors appointment. It was there that we learned that my gramma had Alzheimer's disease. She was slowly forgetting the tasks of everyday life. Upon further investigation it was discovered that she had been in ill health for some time (as evidenced by the rotting food in her fridge & the gentleman who took hundreds of dollars from her each month for her church 'dues').
Gramma slowly forgot why she was estranged from her family. Or perhaps she remembered but recognised that they loved her and they would take care of her in her time of need. I like to think she chose to follow the genuine love her children harboured for her than the fear her religion used.
She does not remember who I am, she frequently calls me by my mother's name. This is too bad as I was her first grandchild and I have many fond memories of her up till the age of 7 or 8. However those are my memories now to keep. Sadly I also have the memory of her refusing to attend my wedding.
For all the heartache I am greatful that my Gramma has allowed us back into her life. Her son and daughter have been tireless in their care of her over the last four years and will continue to care for her with the same tenderness she showed them when they were young.
I do not want to underestimate the devastation that Alzheimer's wreaks on a family or an individual. But for my family it has been an opening for reconciliation.
Thank you.
In the 1980s my grandmother became very dissolutioned by her family. Her dedicated husband died too early and she was left a widower. She had two grown children with whom she developed a conflicted relationship with. It has been mused that my Pappa kept her grounded and reminded her about what was really important in life. But when he passed she edged closer and closer to a religion that encouraged her to disown her children (and by association she lost touch with several of her grandchildren). In the end she was estranged from both of her kids.
Despite being repeatedly rebuffed, my gramma's children persisted in contacting her. One fateful day my sister stopped in and was able to drive my gramma and her friend to a doctors appointment. It was there that we learned that my gramma had Alzheimer's disease. She was slowly forgetting the tasks of everyday life. Upon further investigation it was discovered that she had been in ill health for some time (as evidenced by the rotting food in her fridge & the gentleman who took hundreds of dollars from her each month for her church 'dues').
Gramma slowly forgot why she was estranged from her family. Or perhaps she remembered but recognised that they loved her and they would take care of her in her time of need. I like to think she chose to follow the genuine love her children harboured for her than the fear her religion used.
She does not remember who I am, she frequently calls me by my mother's name. This is too bad as I was her first grandchild and I have many fond memories of her up till the age of 7 or 8. However those are my memories now to keep. Sadly I also have the memory of her refusing to attend my wedding.
For all the heartache I am greatful that my Gramma has allowed us back into her life. Her son and daughter have been tireless in their care of her over the last four years and will continue to care for her with the same tenderness she showed them when they were young.
I do not want to underestimate the devastation that Alzheimer's wreaks on a family or an individual. But for my family it has been an opening for reconciliation.
Thank you.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Some crazy days and nights
I have been reminded lately through work what a lucky person I am. I have three busy healthy children, a wonderful husband who seems to be aging in reverse, a dedicated caregiver to my kids, a great dog and 2 'kind of' great cats (if not for the throwing up and bird catching they would be great without the kind of)...
I was reminding my 7 year old son, who is having some trouble with some friends at school, that this too shall pass. I reminded him about all the wonderful things that he has in his life starting off with his family, his home, his community, his province and all of his freedoms. I don't quite think that he gets it yet - but in time I hope that he will think of all these gifts that he has and it will help him get through the rough times. He is a pretty lucky kid.
I am always cognisant of how we are fragile but resilient. So many things can go wrong - but mostly they don't. You will have more good days than bad, you will have more wonderful dreams than nightmares and you are loved by many people whether you are aware of it or not.
Today I am grateful.
I was reminding my 7 year old son, who is having some trouble with some friends at school, that this too shall pass. I reminded him about all the wonderful things that he has in his life starting off with his family, his home, his community, his province and all of his freedoms. I don't quite think that he gets it yet - but in time I hope that he will think of all these gifts that he has and it will help him get through the rough times. He is a pretty lucky kid.
I am always cognisant of how we are fragile but resilient. So many things can go wrong - but mostly they don't. You will have more good days than bad, you will have more wonderful dreams than nightmares and you are loved by many people whether you are aware of it or not.
Today I am grateful.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
James Cardno - a predator in our midst
"James Cardno, 46, was charged in March with eight sex crimes against four children. Surrey RCMP issued a warning Tuesday morning that the accused child molester is living in Fraser Heights while he awaits his court hearing next month.
Photograph by: submitted, for Surrey NOW"
So I received an email from my local school indicating that there was an 'Important' letter that I needed to read. Inside I found that they were telling parents about a pedeophile who was living in our neighbourhood.
While they did not identify him a quick google search found the first article and a picture.
Here is what I do not understand: JAMES CARDNO was arrested by Surrey RCMP in March 2011. It is now MAY! For the last 8 weeks this child sex offender has been living in my neighbourhood.
In this day and age of mass communication tools this is unacceptable. Surrey RCMP could have and should have warned the residents of Fraser Heights that this dirt bag was living here. He could be renting a basement suite. He could be living in a room and board situation where he has ample access to kids.
He could be scoping out his next victim at the Rexall or Nester food market. He could be nestled into the tree line at any of the 5 elementary schools watching.
Pedeophilia is not curable and I am seriously angry that Surrey RCMP decided that they did not have tell parents about a predator in their midst. There are enough dangers that we do not know about lurking around the corner.
As a parent I worry about my kids playing outside and do not allow them to without supervision.
It is reprehensible that Surrey RCMP KNEW about a potent risk to my children and did not tell me or any other parent in this community.
Shame on JAMES CARDNO for being a sick pedeophile and ruining children's lives. And shame on the Surrey RCMP for delaying releasing this dirt bag's name and location.
You can call the Surrey RCMP and let them know how annoyed you are about their 2 month delay in announcing this guy's name. But I suspect the real issue is the fact that Crown Counsel sat on the information and did not give charge approval (which allows the RCMP to publish warnings) for 2 months.
Call your local MP and let them know how you feel about having a sex offender in your neighbourhood without knowledge. For Fraser Heights that is Nina Grewal (Con) and she can be reached at 604-501-5900.
Photograph by: submitted, for Surrey NOW"
So I received an email from my local school indicating that there was an 'Important' letter that I needed to read. Inside I found that they were telling parents about a pedeophile who was living in our neighbourhood.
While they did not identify him a quick google search found the first article and a picture.
Here is what I do not understand: JAMES CARDNO was arrested by Surrey RCMP in March 2011. It is now MAY! For the last 8 weeks this child sex offender has been living in my neighbourhood.
In this day and age of mass communication tools this is unacceptable. Surrey RCMP could have and should have warned the residents of Fraser Heights that this dirt bag was living here. He could be renting a basement suite. He could be living in a room and board situation where he has ample access to kids.
He could be scoping out his next victim at the Rexall or Nester food market. He could be nestled into the tree line at any of the 5 elementary schools watching.
Pedeophilia is not curable and I am seriously angry that Surrey RCMP decided that they did not have tell parents about a predator in their midst. There are enough dangers that we do not know about lurking around the corner.
As a parent I worry about my kids playing outside and do not allow them to without supervision.
It is reprehensible that Surrey RCMP KNEW about a potent risk to my children and did not tell me or any other parent in this community.
Shame on JAMES CARDNO for being a sick pedeophile and ruining children's lives. And shame on the Surrey RCMP for delaying releasing this dirt bag's name and location.
You can call the Surrey RCMP and let them know how annoyed you are about their 2 month delay in announcing this guy's name. But I suspect the real issue is the fact that Crown Counsel sat on the information and did not give charge approval (which allows the RCMP to publish warnings) for 2 months.
Call your local MP and let them know how you feel about having a sex offender in your neighbourhood without knowledge. For Fraser Heights that is Nina Grewal (Con) and she can be reached at 604-501-5900.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Shut Up and Sit the F&ck down Carol Berner
Oh where to start with this gong show?
Carol Berner is the Delta resident who drove intoxicated and piled into 4 year old Alexa Middelaer while she fed a horse on a rural road. Alexa died and her aunt was seriously injured.
Carol Berner is also the mother of a convicted killer (her son was found guilty in October 2010 of killing a fellow bus traveller).
Ms. Berner was found guilty of impaired driving causing death, impaired driving causing bodily harm, dangerous driving causing death and dangerous driving causing bodily harm in the 2008 crash.
Ms. Berner is appealing her sentence and conviction. She is complaining that her civil rights were trampled on when Delta police left her locked in the back of the squad car at the scene of the accident. What she FAILS to tell you is that she was put in the back of the car because the police officer in charge of her drunk ass was looking for Alexa Middelaer's brother at the scene. So sorry Ms. Berner that you had to WAIT while a police officer searched for an 8 year old boy who was lost at the scene of his sister's death.
Words can barely describe what a waste you are Ms. Berner. You are a drunk, a liar and a really horrible person. You KILLED this little girl and were sentenced to 2.5 years.... surely most of your peers would have sentenced you to LIFE. You should have taken that 2.5 years and served your piddly time. But instead you are going to drag this out and force the Middelaer family to keep this wound open. I hope your lawyer is charging you a significant amount of money.
I vomit a bit every time I see your smug face in the newspaper.
So tell me what value she has to us as a community? She has raised a murderer, she has killed a 4 year old girl, she has wasted thousands of dollars in court time and fees, she has poked the Middelaer family every step of the way.. and now we are allowing her appeal her conviction and paltry sentence.
There is little chance for rehabilitation. Ms. Berner is a paraiah who we should all be protected from. While her words to the Middelaer family were eloquent at her sentencing, her actions have raped those words of condolence and bastardised back to serve her own purpose.
I believe that the judiciary has the option to INCREASE a sentence when an convict appeals a sentence. The sword cuts both ways and Ms. Berner might face the possibility of being assessed MORE time. As clearly 2.5 years for this old shrew is not enough.
Oh and Mr. Tarnow (counsel for Ms. Berner) I do hope that you are charging Ms. Berner a lot of money for this defense as surely your own reputation is swirling around the sink as hers is.
So please just go away Carol. I have enough reminders every day that evil exists in our world. A reprieve from seeing your face would be very welcome. However you seem incapable of doing the right thing.
Carol Berner is the Delta resident who drove intoxicated and piled into 4 year old Alexa Middelaer while she fed a horse on a rural road. Alexa died and her aunt was seriously injured.
Carol Berner is also the mother of a convicted killer (her son was found guilty in October 2010 of killing a fellow bus traveller).
Ms. Berner was found guilty of impaired driving causing death, impaired driving causing bodily harm, dangerous driving causing death and dangerous driving causing bodily harm in the 2008 crash.
Ms. Berner is appealing her sentence and conviction. She is complaining that her civil rights were trampled on when Delta police left her locked in the back of the squad car at the scene of the accident. What she FAILS to tell you is that she was put in the back of the car because the police officer in charge of her drunk ass was looking for Alexa Middelaer's brother at the scene. So sorry Ms. Berner that you had to WAIT while a police officer searched for an 8 year old boy who was lost at the scene of his sister's death.
Words can barely describe what a waste you are Ms. Berner. You are a drunk, a liar and a really horrible person. You KILLED this little girl and were sentenced to 2.5 years.... surely most of your peers would have sentenced you to LIFE. You should have taken that 2.5 years and served your piddly time. But instead you are going to drag this out and force the Middelaer family to keep this wound open. I hope your lawyer is charging you a significant amount of money.
I vomit a bit every time I see your smug face in the newspaper.
So tell me what value she has to us as a community? She has raised a murderer, she has killed a 4 year old girl, she has wasted thousands of dollars in court time and fees, she has poked the Middelaer family every step of the way.. and now we are allowing her appeal her conviction and paltry sentence.
There is little chance for rehabilitation. Ms. Berner is a paraiah who we should all be protected from. While her words to the Middelaer family were eloquent at her sentencing, her actions have raped those words of condolence and bastardised back to serve her own purpose.
I believe that the judiciary has the option to INCREASE a sentence when an convict appeals a sentence. The sword cuts both ways and Ms. Berner might face the possibility of being assessed MORE time. As clearly 2.5 years for this old shrew is not enough.
Oh and Mr. Tarnow (counsel for Ms. Berner) I do hope that you are charging Ms. Berner a lot of money for this defense as surely your own reputation is swirling around the sink as hers is.
So please just go away Carol. I have enough reminders every day that evil exists in our world. A reprieve from seeing your face would be very welcome. However you seem incapable of doing the right thing.
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