Saturday, October 27, 2007

Kids = Ugly parents?

We were out today at a thomas the train day. Kids and multi generational families everywhere. I had a moment to people watch while Colin took the boys on a train ride out to the pumpkin patch.

I noticed that the majority of parents are really hideous. Scraggly hair, zippers left half mast, bellies hanging out (pregnant and otherwise), mismatched outfits, snotty noses, pimpled faces.... the list goes on.

And I started to wonder about which came first - ugliness or kids. Did being ugly beget having kids? Or do people become ugly after having kids? If you are not hot enough for the bar scene do you settle down earlier & start to breed?

I am not speaking from a place of goddess based hygiene. I struggle with my weight and more often than not I have a puzzled and perhaps far away look to me (sans makeup - makes me look younger right?). I have not had a hair cut in about 8 months - most people think that I am trying to grow out Heather Locklear feather hair style circa TJ Hooker 1984. But alas it is because I have little time for pesky things such as haircuts. There are dishes to be loaded, kids to be wiped, dogs to be fed.

So then I start to wonder if I too have joined the ranks of the Uglies. Maybe.....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Movie Night

It is supposed to be my turn to pick the movie that we go and see on date night this week.

I reminded Colin of this and hinted that I might want to see Elizabeth or maybe the new Reese Witherspoon movie.

He shoots back with "You made me watch that Drew Barrymore / Hugh Grant movie - it is my turn to pick". The particular movie he is talking about is call Lyrics and .... I don't remember. And yes we did see it. About a year ago. We don't get out very often - but have been to several movies since then. One of which was Pan's Labyrinth which I could not even sit through it was so gruesome. His choice.

I politely ask which movie he wants to see. No idea. But does not want to watch my pick.

Which goes to show that some people can hold grudges for a very long time if they are forced to watch a Drew Barrymore movie.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Mission Impossible

It was my flex day today and the kids & I had planned a special day to the Aquarium.

Usually we go to Tim Hortons on our special day - but because we were going into the city I decided that this warranted a change of pace & a stop at Starbucks.

Under normal circumstances I drive around until I find a drive thru Starbucks. Bringing the children into a place with silly shelves in the middle of the store and hot beverages is a retail nightmare. Weaving in and out of the parking lot is like playing chicken.

So we get onto Kinsgway..... searching for Starbucks with life saving drive thru. No can do. There are Starbucks everywhere, but none with a parking lot (in the event that I decided to tease fate) or drive thru. We get all the way to the Aquarium turn off. I make the radical decision to go over the Lions Gate bridge on the misinformed idea that the folks in West Van are more civilised.

But again no Drive thru. Kids are sleeping now. I have been driving for 1 hour looking for a drive thru Starbucks. I can TASTE the caramel machiato. I am sure the kids are dreaming of banana bread.

I head over to North Van. Surely these folks have herds of soccer mummies looking for a caffeine fix. Again NOTHING. I wonder how the Starbucks remain full. There ought to be a revolt. Drive Thru Starbucks for the city - not just the Burbs!

Finally after 1.5 hours of driving I find a Starbucks with a drive thru (on Hastings no less on my way back to the Aquarium after declaring defeat). By this point I am too hungry to contemplate a coffee. Kids are still asleep. We drive on to the Aquarium. Where I collapse and forget the packed lunch and order a $30 cafe lunch for us.

Damn you Starbucks!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Hello suction!

Well our old vacuum cleaner coughed up its last hairball last week. We decided that it was time to grow up and trade in our 10 year old Kenmore for an Electrolux.

I was spending hours vacuuming (clearly not literally - if you have ever seen my house) and still finding cat hair, dog hair and the odd pube unwilling to be sucked up by the prowess of the Kenmore. I'd change the bag and still lack luster suction. So the upgrade was sought.

Initially the Dyson looked promising - but the guy in the commercial was kind of creepy. Someone who I envisioned chasing old ladies around with a hose to test suction. So we took advice from my mom - she loves her Electrolux circa 1988.

We checked everything out on line - it was $850 on the website. I found it on ebay for $338. The dollar hit par and bingo bango new vacuum flying to us via FedEx. Actually it was probably ground fed ex as it took 10 days to get here from Florida. Not the point.

I proudly declared it going through customs, gleefully paid my 'duty' - and still the vacuum was less than half of what it would have been here! Amazing!

Now we are vacuuming like newly weds.

ps I should not speak too badly about my old vacuum - as it now lives at my sisters home. I am sure that it is coughing up crap all over the place there too. Revenge for the 'lost' cabbage patch kid in 1986! bwababahahahaha!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

All things wet....

Well we are trying to 'potty train' the untrainable Rowan.

We have the tiny potty out for him in the kitchen (ewww). Although he refuses to use it and prefers to dangle precariously off the big potty. Any day now he is going to splash down into the porcelain god and be traumatised for life.
Fabulous. Can hardly wait to have a 10 year old in diapers.

I should know that the standard advice applies - No one goes to Kindergarten in diapers. I have given this advice to others. I want you all to know now that I was LYING. I have no idea whether any kids show up in diapers for kindergarten. Mine could be the first. Rowan seems to march to his own drummer. I am sure (hoping) that he just spontaneously starts to exclusively use the toilet.

The real problem is that on Christmas day 2006 Rowan said potty and peed on the potty at 18 months of age. This is what started my whole hope of toilet training prior to kindergarten. I *should* have KNOWN that this child would be the one to tease me for a full ten months. He actually will wake up with a dry diaper and ask to go pee in the morning. And then pee everywhere 1 hour later in the play room.

I am going to take a deep breath and hope that the pee fairy stops at our house tonight... hopefully deposit occurs in the appropriate bowl.