Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dear Mean Girl Muffia,

I refer to the Muffia at my kids school often - but stumbled across a blog post by hockemomblog.net which accurately describes the phenomemon.

"I know you have a Muffia at your school, club, church, neighborhood association or sports league; the group of moms who seek power and prestige through getting in with the teachers, chairing committees and claiming parking spots. They travel in packs and make sure their children do as well.

For those who are wondering: Who are the Muffia? How do I spot them? Is there a Muffia uniform? I give you a quick Muffia Hierarchy:

1.) Associate: A Workout, Yoga or Tennis Outfit...she's not quite as "into it" as the rest of the Muffia, mostly because she is so busy with her training schedule. She is forever in her workout clothes just to remind you that she is better than you, and has just come from the gym.

2.) The Foot Soldier: Style varies depending on her schedule. She is busy keeping up with her little ones and reporting to all the duties the Capo ropes her into. She is often found on set up/clean up duty at events. Not all foot soldiers become Capos, plenty happily volunteer for years without any aspirations of power. Others drop out altogether.

3.) Capo: Cardigan, bootcut jeans, Dansko clogs, Vera Bradley bag with plenty of pens...she's been around long enough to carry an important folder to school pick up. It's full of committee notes to be passed to the Boss, or some other such nonsense. Her chief duties are furthering the agenda of the Boss, whatever that might be that week.

4.) Consigliere (Underboss): The closest confidante of the boss. She will usually be the most attractive one of the bunch, and the wealthiest. She was chosen for this position by the boss for these qualities. She is dressed well, carries a Luis Vuitton bag, wears Ray Bans and drives a shiny SUV. She goes on glamorous vacations and talks about them loudly. She makes the Boss seems fancy by association.

5.) The Boss: She is the quintessential Mean Girl. She was picked on as a teenager and has decided to make sure this never happens to her own children. She ensures this by yielding extreme power over other mothers, teachers, the principal. She ensures her children are in the right class, on the right teams, with the right children. She chooses her husband's friends. The Boss believes her children are entitled to the best of everything and that her purpose is to make sure they get it. The rest of us are just in the way.

How to deal with the Muffia, you ask? Well that, my friends, is a story for another day. Tomorrow, I promise.

To Be Continued.... http://hockemomblog.net"

Hats off to you www.hockemomblog.net for a great summary.

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