It took just a few words to confirm my worst thoughts.
No fetal heartbeat. Amniotic sac continued to progress to 10 weeks, fetus stopped growing at 8 weeks.
Did I want to stay for a D&C - recommended as I was 12 weeks and nothing was progressing as planned (pregnancy or miscarriage).
So I stayed, and about 10 hours later the D&C was complete (quite a quick procedure and relatively painless physically).
A bit of a weird time - trying to slowly come to terms of the practical. Who is going to pick up the kids, who is going to tell everyone, who is going to call work. Can I call Colin and tell him what is going on without crying and wasting all my batteries trying to blurt it out.
Random thoughts. Like thank God we didn't tell the kids, didn't buy anything or pull out the maternity clothes, I'm going to have to work over the holidays, will I be able finally lose these extra 25 pounds (not this pregnancy related but from Rowan), it wil be nice to have a glass of wine to get through this, and finally won't this day ever be over?
Everything changed on Monday. Everything stayed the same as well.
While I am sad that this chapter won't end on a happy note, I am also reminded of all the gifts I have. 2 healthy children, a loving husband and a wagon full of caring family and friends and work colleagues.
In the end
This too shall pass....