Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Maternal Guilt - the gift that keeps giving

We invited a friend out to the movies on Saturday. This was the first time that we had 'gone' out to a movie since Blades of Glory in the Spring of 2007. This was HUGE for my friend and I. Lame, but huge to actually get out just the two of of without kids for the second time in 10 months.

Third friend invited regretfully declines invite as she had gone running that morning then a haircut and she felt that she needed to spend the night in because of all the time she had been out of the house that day. Fair game. But it got me thinking about whether I had ever heard a dad decline an invite out because they had attended a sporting event & got a haircut that same day and were feeling guilty about being out of the home.

Well those words have yet to be uttered by He Who Shall Not Be Named in my house and I hazard a guess that he is not unique.

I continually feel as though I need to justify my social activities to HWSNBN. Not because he demands it, but because I am so hung up on the fact that if I choose to go out with my friends (second time in 10 months - what the heck is wrong with me? Clearly I am a wanton hedonistic gal getting my social needs met before my kids needs) it means that I am choosing movies or Starbucks conversations over my little buddies. And that had better be a really good caramel machiato to pull me away from the kidlets.

I don't think that I am particular in this as a mom and I believe that it is something that our male parents do not really struggle with. Hockey three nights a week? No big deal. Proof is that the kids don't forget who they are even though they at times don't see them for 1, 2 or 3 days at a time (given that little buddies are only awake from 7am to 7:30pm respectively). So why don't I feel that same freedom to scrapbook or work overtime without incurring hideous and debilitating levels of guilt?

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